He thought he saw an Elephant,
 That practised on a fife1:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A letter from his wife.
 "At length I realise," he said,
 "The bitterness2 of life!"

 He thought he saw a Buffalo3,
 Upon the chimney-piece4:
 He looked again, and found it was
 His Sister's Husband Niece5.
 "Unless you leave this house," he said,
 "I'll send for the Police!"

 He thought he saw a Rattlesnake6
 That questioned him in Greek:
 He looked again, and found it was
 The Middle of Next Week.
 "The one thing I regret", he said,
 "It's that it cannot speak"

 He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk7
 Descending from the bus:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A Hippopotamus:
 "If this should stay to dine8," he said,
 "There won't be much for us!"

 He thought he saw a Kangaroo
 That worked a coffee-mill9:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A Vegetable-Pill,
 "Were I to swallow10 this," he said,
 "I should be very ill!"

 He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four11
 That stood beside his bed:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A Bear without a Head,
 "Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
 It's waiting to be fed!"

 He thought he saw an Albatross
 That fluttered12 round the lamp:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A Penny-Postage Stamp.
 "You'd best be getting home," he said,
 "The nights are very damp13!"

 He thought he saw a Garden-Door
 That opened with a key:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A Double Rule of Three:
 "And all its mystery," he said,
 "Is clear as day to me!"

 He thought he saw an Argument
 That proved he was the Pope:
 He looked again, and found it was
 A Bar of Mottled14 Soap,
 "A fact so dread15," he faintly16 said,
 "Extinguishes17 all hope!"